Struggling

I haven't written in a while.

Yes, I fell off track.

As I was following the program, things starting coming up about my friends death.  I was crying constantly and I couldn't handle it.  I started to comfort myself with food again and the bad thoughts melted away.

I am going to start again tomorrow.  This time I am prepared for those bad thoughts and have ways to cope with them.

I am also not going to use Weight Watchers anymore.

I don't like the fact that I was starting to use sugar free and low fat alternatives for everything.  I need a diet that allows me to eat more real food.  Of course, I will still be eating processed foods but I'm going to try my best to eat better with less processed foods.  I didn't feel that way when I was doing Weight Watchers.  I want to feel good about what is going in my mouth.

I have decided to use ITrackBites which is similar to Weight Watchers but you can use programs from the past that Weight Watchers has done.  I also am fond of the 100 Days of Real Food books and blog.  I will be utilizing them to eat healthier.

So, I'll see you tomorrow with my new starting weight.  I think I gained back every pound I lost.

This is hard to write.  Its embarrassing but I know I can't give up.

Until next time,
Pam