Saturday, March 8, 2014

New Blog Coming Soon!

I am starting a new blog.

Bookmark findingmyhappiness.com

It isn't up and running yet but will be soon!

Until next time...

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Weigh In Day!

This week I gained 0.2 lbs.  Honestly it should of been more.  I haven't exercised since last Wednesday.  I haven't tracked since Saturday.  Superbowl Sunday... we aren't even going to talk about that.  I'm a complete mess!

I take a medication called Lexapro for anxiety.  I've been on it since August and it has helped me deal with the small things that caused me anxiety.  I felt like it wasn't enough because when the big things hit...  I couldn't settle down enough to work through them.  I wasn't sleeping through the night.  My stomach was constantly upset over my problems.  Last week, I talked with my doctor about increasing my dose.  She doubled it.  I am not feeling like myself.  I am having pretty bad side effects.  I feel drugged most of the day.  I know my body will eventually get used to the extra dosage but it has been hard the last week.  I know I will be fine when I hit the finish line... just don't know when that will be.

So, I'm sorry I haven't been writing much lately.  Bear with me.  I am a work in progress and I'm hoping this extra dosage helps me in the end.

Until next time...

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Picture Progress

Here are the pictures I took in the beginning.  The ones I didn't want anyone to see because of my massive muffin top.  I am wearing my work uniform.  I ended up wearing a light jacket everyday around my waist to hide the fat.



Now these were pictures from yesterday.  Much better...



Same outfit (besides the socks) 4 weeks apart.

I think I'm doing pretty good right now :-)

I will take another round of pictures in 4 more weeks.

Until next time...



Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Weigh In Day!

Honestly... I don't know how this happened.

Today I weighed in at 237.9 lbs for a loss of 6.5 lbs this week.  I'm at a total loss of 19.1 lbs.

At first, I was excited that I was in the 230's again.  Then I started to calculate how much I lost this week and it just doesn't seem right.  I've lost 11.5 lbs in the past 2 weeks.  I did have the stomach virus and PMS last week.  I will have to watch my weight loss in the next few weeks to make sure it slows down a bit.  But for this weigh in, I will take it and I am extremely happy about it.

I am tracking my food.  I am exercising 3-4 times a week.  My job is very active so I'm probably burning many calories there too.

I feel like I'm eating normally.  For breakfast, I usually have oatmeal, cereal w/ fat free milk or egg white omelets.  Lunches are usually leftovers from dinner, lean cuisines or sandwiches.  I also have a fruit with lunch... bananas, strawberries, oranges, etc.  Dinner is just a normal dinner.  I make something and have one serving of it.  Some dinners we have had lately... pizza casserole, roast beef pie, turkey chili, etc.  I also make sure to have a vegetable with dinner.  For snacks each day I have greek yogurt, fruit and something like a nutri-grain bar or veggie straws.  I also let myself have a treat everyday.  Last night ended up being weight watchers mini chocolate cakes.

The weekends are much different.  I use my 49 weekly points on the weekends.  This is the time I eat the things I really want like pizza and ice cream.  I get all my cravings out of the way.  I don't eat like a pig but I might have an extra serving of something.

During the week I have work.  I am busy.  I don't even think about food most of the time.  The weekends I'm home and I can walk in the kitchen at any time and eat.  That is why the way I do this works for me.  I don't feel deprived of anything.  It balances me out.

Hopefully tomorrow I will post some pictures of my progress.  I did take some pictures of myself when I started in my work uniform but with the massive muffin top showing I was a bit embarrassed.  Everything fits so much better now and I am ready to show off those before pictures.

Watch out world...  Pam is going to conquer this weight loss.

Until next time...

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

MIA

I'm so sorry for my absence but it wasn't because I started to binge or stopped exercising.

I AM ON A ROLL!!!

Tomorrow is my weigh in.  After my stomach virus over a week ago, I thought maybe I wouldn't lose weight this week or I might even gain... but I really don't think that is going to happen.  I am noticing so many positive changes in my body.  I am finally getting to that nice mental place where I don't want to stop because I'm finally seeing myself change with my own eyes.  I don't want to go back to the Pam I was 4 weeks ago.

So... I will be back tomorrow hopefully with good scale news!

Until next time...

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Weigh In Day!

Today I weighed in at 244.4 lbs for a loss of 5 lbs.  My total loss is 12.6 lbs.

I have been sick and I'm still recovering from the stomach virus.  I am not taking this weigh in too seriously.  Next week could possibly be a gain.  I know I've lost so much weight this week because I haven't been able to eat as much.  I haven't tracked my food, I haven't exercised since before I got sick... I feel like this 5 lbs is still on my body.  Next week will be a better indication of where I'm at.  Stay tuned...

Today I will start tracking my food again.

Today I will get back on the treadmill.  I'm hoping that I can run but if not I will walk.  I've felt weaker lately... I think the eating has really been affecting me.  

Everyday seems to get a little better.  I don't think it helps that I also have GERD.

So, that's all so now.

Until next time...

Monday, January 20, 2014

Still Not Feeling Well

It's Monday morning and I'm still feeling yucky.  The only thing I can keep down is crackers so my meals are consisting of crackers and water.  I'm going to try to have a protein shake for lunch today just because I'm so damn hungry and I'm hoping it will help fill me up a bit along with the crackers.  I feel like I'm pregnant right now.  No... I'm not pregnant.  I checked the calendar :-)

I'm hoping to get back on the treadmill by tomorrow evening for a nice walk while I watch something on Netflix.  I'm sure I lost weight but it really doesn't count since I will probably gain some back as soon as I can eat normally again.  I'm not going to take my weigh in too seriously this week.

Anyway, have a great Monday... hope it will be better than mine.

Until next time...

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Sick

I'm sick with the stomach virus.  The bad part is over but the sick, yucky feeling remains.  I hope to be back up and on track in the next day or two.  Right now, I eat what I can and I'm not going to worry about the scale on Wednesday.  I have been waiting for some kind of sickness to hit me.  I've lucked out considering I work in a germ factory.  Can't wait to feel better.

Until next time...

Thursday, January 16, 2014

So Close...

I almost lost it.  I was so close to overeating.

I had a tough day at work.  It seemed like every single child in my care at work was CRAZY!  Screaming, crying, hitting, biting... it was a mad house.  I couldn't believe how they were acting.

I came home and right away I wanted to eat.  I didn't just want a snack.  I wanted 15 snacks.  I wanted to eat and eat until my stomach hurt.  It was hard walking away from the kitchen but I found the strength to do it.

I immediately went up to my room, put on some workout clothes, grabbed my dirty laundry and went to the basement.  I started a load of laundry and then I got right on the treadmill.  I ran/walked for 20 minutes and by the time I was done, so was the feeling that I needed to eat a ton of food.

Just to be safe, I kept myself busy until bedtime.  I showered, cleaned, helped the boys with homework, cooked dinner, packed lunches and then it was bedtime.

I survived my first real battle.  I know that there will be days like this.  I know that it can't always be easy.  Today just made me realize that I can do it... I CAN avoid temptation.  I knew exactly what to do and I followed through.

I'm hoping today will be better but I know what I need to do if it isn't.

Until next time...

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Weigh In Day!

This week I weighed in at 249.4 lbs which is a loss of 1.9 lbs.  YAY!!!

I am at a total loss of 7.6 lbs.

I feel stronger.

I'm sleeping like a baby.

My pants are not as tight.

I'm happier.

I can deal with stress better.

I'm not lazy.

Things are going in the right direction.  Now I just need to keep going... keep moving forward.

Until next time...

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Exhausted

I'm tired today.  I feel like I could sleep for another 5 hours.  My Monday was a tough day to get through.  It was the first workday of the week, it was grocery shopping day, I had to take care of the kids, I made meals, I cleaned and... I had to workout.  Mondays are tough.  I didn't want to workout yesterday but I didn't even let myself have a choice.  Hey... 10 minutes is better then nothing.  By the time I got moving, I was alright and I ended with a 20 minute workout.  Not bad for someone who was ready to drop.

Eating better is getting to be a habit now.  It seems to be easier when I run.  I think running suppresses my appetite a little.

I'm going to be tested very soon.  Things are changing at work and home.  I'm getting more kids in my room at work which means more noise and stress.  My husband is thinking about taking a job with less stress within his company that could end up giving him 3 dollars less an hour.  We are trying to figure out this year financially and what we will be able to accomplish.  I'm getting a bit anxious.  We have loans to pay off.  My husband wants to go to Wisconsin for vacation.  There are things that need to be done around the house.  The one thing I need to keep doing is stay focused on my health.  Stay focused on getting this weight off me.  I will find solutions for my problems, I just have to be patient and work them all out.

Tomorrow is weigh in day.  I am so much happier only weighing myself once a week.  I like not knowing what the scale will show... only knowing the hard work I did and how much I followed through.  I keep my scale high up on a shelf in my closet so I'm not tempted to peek.  It really helps.

Anyway, have a fantastic Tuesday!

Until next time...

Saturday, January 11, 2014

This Is It

Since Monday I have worked out 4 times and I feel... fantastic!

I am in love with my treadmill right now.  I wasn't even suppose to run today and I did it anyway.  I love the red face I get and all the sweat that my body produces.  I love when I breathe a little bit harder and I love how good a shower feels when I'm done.  Running is my happy time.  It's my time to think.  It's my time to fight.  It's my alone time.

I'm slow.  I'm starting over.  It's going to take a while to be where I once was.

But this has been one heck of a beginning for me.  I'm gaining confidence... already.

I know without a doubt this time is it for me.

I don't want to cheat.  I am willing to work hard.

This is it.

I know that there will be a bumpy road ahead but I will stay on course and I will not give up.

I'm going to fight as hard as I can.

This is it.  Stay tuned.

Until next time...

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Weigh In Day!

Weigh in day was yesterday but after working all day, working out (yay!), helping the kids with homework, cooking dinner, packing lunches and cleaning up... I was ready to drop and couldn't post my weigh in.  My energy level is way up but at the end of the day, I am beat and my bed calls to me loudly.  I'm sleeping like a baby at night.

I weighed in at 251.3 lbs which is a 5.7 lb loss for my first week.  It was a great week.  I ate a portioned dessert every night and I stayed on track.

I completed my second run yesterday as well.  30 minutes (15 walking/15 jogging) for a total of 1.98 miles.  I decided to workout as soon as I got home from work so I wouldn't make an excuse later.  It was much easier to get on the treadmill this time then the first time.  I'm motivated and I can't wait to see results.  I will be patient.

Everything is going great.  My house is getting more and more organized, my finances are looking good and I'm staying on track with losing weight.

Time to get ready for work.  Have a great Thursday!

Until next time...

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

First Workout

Yesterday I didn't want to exercise.  I had worked all day and then after work I had to go grocery shopping with 2 boys who love to fight with each other.  By the time I got home, I was exhausted and not feeling it at all.

So what did I do?

I got on my workout clothes on, grabbed my tablet and went down to the treadmill like I was suppose to.  I completed a 20 minute workout.  15 minutes of jogging and 5 minutes of walking for a total of 1.25 miles.  Yes, I'm slow and my workout was short but I'm so damn proud of myself for doing it.  I had a pile of excuses in my head but I didn't let myself get out of it.

How did I feel when it was over?

One word... amazing.

Sweaty Pam

Tomorrow is my first weigh in and I'm not nervous.  I know I lost weight because I did what I was suppose to do.  I haven't cheated and checked my weight so I don't know what to expect.  It has been hard not weighing myself during the week but it is better this way.  It helps not to obsess over the number on the scale.

I really feel like 2014 is going to be my year.

Until next time...