Friday, June 12, 2020

First Weigh In Using ITrackBites Conquer Cravings

My first weigh in was great.

I lost 8.2 pounds!

This weight loss plan is working for me.  The first few days I had headaches, I was grumpy, and I felt like eating every second of the day.  Then everything started getting easier.  Now I am on day 9 and I am not hungry all the time anymore.

I haven't started exercising yet but I'm hoping to start that sometime in the next week.

I started therapy today and it went well.  I learned some new ways to cope with my anxiety.  I also was able to talk about the loss of my friend who passed away in December.  I will continue with sessions every 2 weeks.  I am going to do this right.

After Monday, my work load should slow down so I will be posting more regularly.

Until next time,

Saturday, June 6, 2020

Starting Over - Starting Weight

I know I'm a couple of days late.  I did start on Thursday.  The first day was really rough.  I had an anxiety attack and had a massive headache.  I made it through the day successfully though.

My starting weight is 275 lbs again.

I have been feeling so bad lately and my anxiety has been so high.  I decided to make an appointment to see the therapist I've seen in the past.  I want to do this right.  I know without help I will keep falling into my bad habits.  This pandemic and the loss of my good friend has really worn me down.  I have a hard time handling anything right now.  Add to that... work has been extra stressful lately and parts of my body have been in pain.  It is just a recipe for failure.

I'm going to work on myself.

It has taken me a long time to admit I need help but here I am.  I'm going to get help.

Posts will be sporadic until I get over this stressful time at work.

I'm not giving up.

Until next time,

Wednesday, June 3, 2020


I haven't written in a while.

Yes, I fell off track.

As I was following the program, things starting coming up about my friends death.  I was crying constantly and I couldn't handle it.  I started to comfort myself with food again and the bad thoughts melted away.

I am going to start again tomorrow.  This time I am prepared for those bad thoughts and have ways to cope with them.

I am also not going to use Weight Watchers anymore.

I don't like the fact that I was starting to use sugar free and low fat alternatives for everything.  I need a diet that allows me to eat more real food.  Of course, I will still be eating processed foods but I'm going to try my best to eat better with less processed foods.  I didn't feel that way when I was doing Weight Watchers.  I want to feel good about what is going in my mouth.

I have decided to use ITrackBites which is similar to Weight Watchers but you can use programs from the past that Weight Watchers has done.  I also am fond of the 100 Days of Real Food books and blog.  I will be utilizing them to eat healthier.

So, I'll see you tomorrow with my new starting weight.  I think I gained back every pound I lost.

This is hard to write.  Its embarrassing but I know I can't give up.

Until next time,

Friday, May 22, 2020

Day 8 - 5/21/20 First Weigh In

Well, I won't keep you in suspense.

I lost 7.8 pounds for my first week on Weight Watchers!!!

I'm so happy I got through the week and I stayed strong.  Seeing that loss made all the struggle completely worth it.

A few things have already changed in the last week.

1. My mindset is different.  At the beginning of the week, I wasn't sure if I could do this.  I struggled with the thought of just giving up and eating what I wanted.  Now, I know I can get through this.  I know the struggles aren't over and probably will never be over, but I know I can be strong.  Waking up in the morning when I didn't overeat is such a fantastic feeling, too.

2. I don't hurt as bad when I exercise.  At the beginning of the week when I did my walks on the treadmill, I had to take a break almost every 5 minutes for at least 20-30 seconds because my ankles were hurting so much.  By the end of the week, I was walking the full 30 minutes without stopping.  Today, I even felt so good that I jogged.  I jogged for 1 minute and walked for 2 minutes for a total of 30 minutes.  After that, I was tired but I went outside to play soccer with my older son and even did a bit of rollerblading.  I felt so great!  My movement is definitely increasing.

3. I'm not as hungry.  In the beginning of the week, I was constantly hungry.  I wanted to eat more the second I finished eating something else.  I have been trying to eat fuller meals that will keep me satisfied longer.  I also have plenty of foods to snack on when I feel like I need to eat that have a low point value.

4. I'm cooking more.  I am happy to be in my kitchen making some yummy food.  For a long time, I was not cooking except for putting frozen food in the oven.  I didn't care.  I had what was easy.  I look forward to getting in the kitchen everyday now.

5. I'm not as lazy.  Before, I could sit around all day and be content.  Now, I am always getting up to do something.  My house is so much cleaner and organized.  The effect of that is a lot less chaos in my mind.  I still have work to do but everyday gets better.

So in one week, so much has already changed.  I can't want to keep going and see where this takes me.  I want to be healthy and I know I can do this.  And if I can do it, so can you!

Until next time,

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Day 6 - 5/19/20 What I Ate On Weight Watchers Green Plan

Today was a really good day!

I stayed within my points!

I exercised!

I cleaned!

I worked!

I sat on my butt and watched tv!

Such an exciting life right now!

My eating has changed a bit.  I have been going on Youtube to find some weight watcher point friendly foods.

Here is what I ate:

 Breakfast was a light english muffin (2) w/ chocolate
PB2/sugar free syrup (1) and a banana (0).  I also had 2 cups
of coffee with sugar & nondairy creamer. (3)
Total: 6 sp
This is what I used for the topping on the english muffin.
Found this on suggestion on Youtube.
I was very snacky today.  This was 1-1/4 oz. of barbeque Ritz
Crisp & Thins.
Total: 5
Second snack midmorning was a Quaker caramel rice cake (2)
 w/ a few tbsps. of chocolate Reddiwip (1).  So yummy!
Total: 3 sp
Lunch was so good!  I had a salad w/ baby spinach/spring mix (0),
1 oz. feta cheese (2), 1/8 c. walnuts (3), 1 c. strawberries (0), and 2 Tbsp.
balasmic vinegar (1).  I was very hungry so I added 10 oz. shrimp (2) w/
1-1/2 Tbsp. general tso sauce (3).
Total: 11 sp
This is the balasmic vinegar I use.  I buy it
from William Sonoma.  It is expenisve but
very worth the money to me.  It has a sweet taste
and doesn't need anything added to it for a salad.
This is my opinion at least!
Another snack!  This was 1 oz. of Hippeas nacho flavor.
I love these.  Even my kids really like them.  They are made
from chickpea flour.
Total: 4 sp
I had some bacon that I had to use up so
I decided to make chocolate chip pancakes for my
family.  I had something different though.
2 blueberry eggo waffles (6) w/ 1/8 c. sugar
free syrup (0) & 3 slices of bacon (3).  I had an apple (0)
w/ 2 Tbsps. PB2 (1).
Total: 10 sp
I felt pretty satisfied after dinner.  Later on,
I had a Premier Protein caramel shake for
my dessert.
Total: 2 sp

I felt like I ate so much today but I ended up having 2 smartpoints leftover for the day.  I know that I just wanted to snack all day but I tried to control myself with portions of snacks.  I distracted myself by trying to stay busy.  It worked most of the day.

I'm looking forward to weigh in!  My weigh ins are on Thursday but you will see the post on Friday.

Until next time,

Tuesday, May 19, 2020

Day 5 - 5/18/20

Another day of struggle.  What can I say?  This is my first week and I have to adjust to eating this way.  I am making it but it is hard.

Nothing really to report today.  Just checking in and letting you know I'm still going.  I did my 30 minute walk on the treadmill and stayed within my points for the day.

Today I am doing a what I eat in a day blog so it will be posted tomorrow!

Until next time,

Monday, May 18, 2020

Day 3 & 4 - 5/16/20-5/17/20


It is a beautiful Saturday.  The weather right now is 74°F in NJ.  I'm sitting outside on my deck while writing this.  I love this!

I keep thinking that I want to take a walk outside.  I keep chickening out though.  I am all in my head about how other people will judge me based on my weight.  I have gained around 20 pounds in the past 2 months.  That is a lot of weight to gain in a short amount of time.  I feel really bad about myself and in my head, I'm being judged by others but I know in reality that it is me judging myself.

My weight has held me back more times than I can count.  There is so much I still want to do in my life and I don't want something that I have complete control over dictate what I can and can't do.  You might say I can do all the things I want to do now at this weight.  Yes I could... but I want the level of comfort with myself that I'm not wondering if everyone is looking at me in disgust.  I want to gain enough confidence and self-esteem that I am only focusing on what is really important.  I have wasted so much of my life worrying about what others think.

The rest of Saturday went really good.  I used a bunch of my weekly smartpoints.  I am going to save them for the weekends when I want to eat a little bit more without going overboard.   For exercise, I walked 30 minutes on the treadmill.  I feel like I am close to giving a light jog a try... maybe sometime next week.


Sunday was chilly.  We kept the windows open but I wore a light jacket all day.  I worked a bit to make up for the time I get distracted during the week, watched some tv, and played some games with my family.

My sons

I walked 30 minutes on the treadmill.

I struggled a lot with food but I stayed strong and finished the day successfully.  I have been having these fights in my head.  There is a side of me that doesn't care and just wants to eat.  Then there is the other side that is so tired of this and wants to get healthy.  I have to keep fighting to listen to the one that matters.  The one that will get me to a healthy weight.

It seems like I have this struggle every other day.  I just have to keep trying.  It is so nice to wake up in the morning and know that I didn't have a binge.  It is one of the things I try to remind myself when I want to give up.

Until next time,